The Woman Whisperer

A few weeks ago, a girlfriend of mine introduced me to her friend, Del a.k.a. The Woman Whisperer. That’s right! In addition to his successful music career, Del makes a living coaching guys on how to date women. Isn’t that awesome! I want to coach girls on how to date dudes. Someone hire me, please!

Anyway, Del was so amazing to sit down with me for more than an hour to talk about exactly what it is he does. You might think a dude who teaches other dudes strategies for picking up women might be a bit of a douche. But after chatting with him, it’s evident that Del is truly in it to help guys live a better life. And that may mean meeting their future wife or simply getting laid. But who are we to judge what increases a person’s quality life?

If the Shoe Fits

Last week I attended a wedding as my older brother’s date. Ever since I took Rob to my high school prom, we’ve used each other as designated dates. I’m two years younger than he is, so it does get weird when his friends think I’m really his date. Like the time his buddy asked, “Dude, who’s the cute blonde?” It’s kinda gross.

Anyway, back to last week’s wedding. Rob’s best friend had popped the question to his girlfriend in California—where they live—and one month later they were hosting an intimate celebration in his parents’ house here in Miami. Oh yes, they planned a wedding in one month! I know a lot of girls are reading this and think it’s impossible. But you know what? It was the most beautiful celebration of love I’ve ever witnessed. He wore a guayabera (for my non-Cuban readers click here) with Rainbow sandals, and she wore a short, white BCBG dress with a coral-colored rose in her hair (which I later notice came from a bouquet in the living room). How cute is that?! They are totally modern-day hippies. His sister performed the ceremony, and there were about 30 people in attendance. Plus they recited their own vows, which I’ve always thought is the way to go.

Is He Thinking What I’m Thinking?

Photo by Daddy Novo

I’m the only girl in my family. I have an older and a younger brother, plus two boy cousins whom I also consider my siblings. I credit my brothers for my easy-going approach towards guys, my sense of humor and my strong self-confidence. (Even though, sometimes I think my self-esteem should be lower considering my childhood nickname was Chunk-A-Nut. Thanks, Rob. But at least it wasn’t Batman’s Weiner, which was Mikey’s nickname. He turned out okay, too.) Perhaps my favorite part about being the only girls was being able to study the male species in its natural, uncensored, habitat.

One thing I learned early on from my studies was that boys aren’t so different from girls. I know you think I’m nuts. After all, aren’t boys stupid and girls crazy? Sure they are, but that’s only because there are communication issues between the two genders that inhibit us from ever fully understand each other. But, I also believe we both go through the same emotions. And those emotions are still applicable when it comes to dating and relationships.

Hurry up and be Patient

Photo by Lilly Rico

I love my father. But after spending a week with him listening to Dan Brown books on tape while driving from Miami to L.A., I was ready for a little alone time—and a Margarita on the rocks.

It was my first Saturday night in L.A., and I found myself locking eyes with a guy at the other end of bar. Gosh Nikki, one night in a new city and you’re already flashing that smile. I couldn’t help it. He had this unruly strawberry blonde hair and a mischievous smile that just made me laugh. It was one of those moments in life that you completely pass-off as just another ordinary occurrence, and then months later you realize how it changed your life.

A year later after I innocently accepted his card at Cabo Cantina, I sat in the passenger seat of my car staring out to Hollywood Boulevard as tears filled my eyes when I asked him, “So… what are we doing?” Wait, wasn’t I the girl that just ran away from commitment, and now I’m asking for one? Karma is a bitch. After about a minute of silence that just made me even more frustrated he responded, “We’re spending time together.”

We’re spending time together? WTF!? What does that even mean? I would have preferred to hear one of those usual-guy-answers like: “I’m not ready for commitment,” or “I just thought we were hooking up.” Or even, “I have an arranged marriage.” But instead I get The Power of Now-type answer. Of course, that day, I told him this “spending time together” crap was over. And then the next week… we were back watching Family Guy together.

We did end up spending two uncommitted years together, and for the most part, every moment with him was absolutely lovely. And although he never became my boyfriend, he taught me patience, understanding and reintroduced me to the free spirit I always was. Those things are priceless to me, and totally worth the girl-likes-boy torture. He now has a live-in girlfriend, and I have this awesome blog. I think I got the better end of the deal…

The other day bff Lilly sent me the picture found at the top of this post that reads, “hurry up and be patient.” Which is a play off the old adage, “hurry up and wait.” I could be wrong, but I think Lilly was asking The Universe to hurry up and give her patience, which is a funny oxymoron. But then again, that’s Lilly… always laughing at herself. When I read the saying, for some reason, it reminded me of “we’re just spending time together.” And then it hit me: he was right all along!

Girls are always in a hurry. We’re always in a rush to define “what we’re doing.” But what’s the point? We’re just hurrying up to get to a place where we’ll just have to be patient anyway. If we could just enjoy “spending time together” and not think about, “when will he ask me to be his girlfriend,” “when will he ask me to move in,” or “when will he proposed,” we’ll never be stuck waiting. And if we’re looking to the future so much, maybe we should stop and ask ourselves what’s so bad about our present?